- "Tom: "Father.."
Ted: "Yes Tom?"
Tom: "I've killed a man"
Ted: "Right Tom I'll have to talk to you about that later.."
- ―- Tom and Ted's exchange before Ted goes for his television interview ('Good Luck father Ted')
Tom is a minor character in Father Ted. He is the psychotic village idiot on Craggy Island and a friend of Ted Crilly.
History
He appears in the first-ever episode when a TV crew arrives on the island and Ted asks them if they can see a man wearing an "I Shot J R" t-shirt. Tom then produces a shotgun and shoots a crow before shouting "Bird!". They later approach him after Ted arrives in the field and see that he has a scar which he got in a fight. He shows off another one he got on his buttocks.
His next appearance is when Ted Crilly rushes through Mass in order to get to the house of novelist Polly Clarke, who he fancies. Tom bumps into him with his van and Ted hitches a ride. Tom then stops by the bank to pick up some money and Ted is shocked when he hears gunshots. When Tom gets back into the van, he tells Ted that the money was his, he just didn't want to fill out any forms.
Tom later takes a job as a driver of a sewage truck and encounters Ted and Dougal who have been on the holiday from hell. He offers them a ride but can't remember which button opens the doors and which controls the sewage release. He accidentally presses the latter, covering the two in sewage.
After the parochial house is overrun with rabbits, due to Ted saying 'feck' to Bishop Brennan when the latter phones to say he will be paying a visit since he has heard of Jack's nude sleepwalking, Ted and Dougal visit Tom in order to get rid of them but he intends to kill them with a katana, a vice and his van.
